Most unWanted

Each of the Toxic Amenders is unique and battles his/her own nemesis with his/her unique superpowers.  Yet most of us at some time have encountered these supervillains which we refer to unaffectionately as “The Toxic Amenders Most unWanted."

 

Pesky-Cyde

Created and trained by a German scientist to kill people as nerve gas, Pesky-Cyde was found to be an effective bug killer.  He was sent out to do his job but couldn’t shake his training and is responsible for more human chemical injuries than any of the other Top Ten unWanted combined. 

 

The Stepford Strangler

Don’t let her benign appearance fool you.  Found in bathrooms of homes and public buildings, she’s disguises herself in pictures of fresh fruit, natural beauty and spice.  She hides in spray cans, plastic dispensers, pretty containers and fanned generators.  She’ll spray you with a blast of phenol, butane, ethyl alcohol or petroleum distillates when you enter the bathroom, house or even car.  She can appear as a gel, solid or gas. 

 

Fume

He’ll leave you breathless, dizzy, disoriented and make your legs feel like jelly.  Often found hiding in clothes dryers and in homes doing laundry with sheets, he’ll make his appearance while you’re least expecting it.  Like during a nice walk on your street.  WHAM!  Get a whiff of him and you might have to rush for your mask if you’re still able to think. 

 

Miss Odious Stenchly

The most odious one can hit you like a freight train.  She lives in pretty little glass bottles and is linked to celebs from Britney to J Lo to Sara Jessica who’ll all swear their little buddy is benign and oh so chic.  Preferring to dig deeper into labels and ingredients, The Toxic Amenders aren’t swayed by advertising.

 

Vapour

Real name: sodium hypochlorite.  Disguised as a dependable cleaner mom used to use, this toxic character will leave you crying for mercy as he burns your eyes and lungs.  Don’t be fooled.  And if you see him with his archenemy “Ammonia”, run for cover because there will be a poison gas that you don’t want to breathe. 

 

The Itch

He touches your skin and you know you’ve encountered him.  He hides in fragranced, lotions and potions made from synthetic chemicals that are absorbed through the skin.  One encounter can send you looking for relief in a bathtub of warm water. 

Known Aliases:  Rash Hively and Goo.

 

The Tickler

Stiff as a board and looking like a sheet of wood, he really contains formaldehyde resin and wood pieces.   He’ll tickle you for years after he’s been around and cause you a whole range of health hazards.  Avoid, avoid, avoid.   He has relatives who look like him but who don’t share the tickler effects or health hazards.   Known Alias: MDF

  

Perky

Found hanging around people’s closets and commonly found in strip malls, exposure to this dizzying fellow can lead to liver, kidney and nervous system problems.  He can even leave you unconscious after a few visits.   He’ll tell you he will clean your clothes and remove stains and odors but he’s really damaging your health.  Don’t be fooled by Perky just because he’s been around so long.   If he promises to clean your clothes and put them in a nice plastic bag, run away.

 

Smoke

Whether from tobacco, wood burning stoves or burning garbage, this irritating character can cause respiratory distress in humans and other animals.  Often found with his intoxicating partner in crime, Nick O’teen, this duo of doom’s trail of injury is historic and has even been promoted in television ads.  At the present, he tells people about the damage he causes in one breath and tries to get you to take him home in the other.  Very sneaky and very dangerous.

 

The V.O. Seize Gang

This gang includes all of the above villains and many more.  They can become invisible gas which pollutes air and drinking water. 

They frequents places with oil-based paints, vehicle exhaust, printing ink, furniture refinishers, air fresheners, particle board, secondhand smoke, hairspray, burning fuels, moth balls, furniture, drapes, carpet adhesives, cleaning fluid, newspaper, cosmetics, upholstry fabrics, adhesives, sealing caulks, vinyl flooring, glues, tobacco products, varnishes and copying machines. 

Clearly, they are almost everywhere in the modern world but avoiding breathing them is essential for health.  Invidividually, they can be less irritating but get them all together and you’re asking for trouble.

Known Gang Members:  Perky, Ben Zene, For Mal de Hyde, The Lene Triplets- Toe Lou, Gaz and Zy.